Wedding Ready, Emotionally Steady: The Mindset Shift for Today’s Couples

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of Springs Therapy, Amy Bishop brings a grounded, insightful perspective to the complexities of love and commitment. With advanced training in PACT, AEDP, and Gottman therapies, Amy specializes in helping couples deepen their emotional connection and navigate relational challenges with intention. In this interview, she explores how the meaning of marriage is evolving for modern women, why emotional fluency is essential before saying “I do,” and how couples can balance the pressure of a picture-perfect wedding with the foundation of a lasting partnership.

1. How has the meaning of marriage evolved for modern women?

I think marriage has become a more conscious decision of entering into partnership. Modern women may or may not want to stay at home with kids if they even want kids at all, and want a partner for reasons beyond wanting a breadwinner. Women want someone they can come home to and feel aligned with in parenting and who they believe will make their day better through a sense of connectedness and shared goals. 

2. What internal work should someone do before walking down the aisle?

Communication obviously is important to relationships, but I don’t think couples really know what they mean when they say they want better communication. Being able to recognize you are having a feeling, naming the feeling, and expressing it can be really difficult for people. But it makes it easier to name a need, to express affection, and to feel emotionally close. Doing work to feel comfortable with our own emotions and our partners emotions is probably one of the most important steps any individual can take.  

3. How do you recommend couples navigate the pressure of planning a “perfect” wedding while preparing for a healthy relationship?

Ask yourself and your partner what is actually important to you? I always joke with couples that weddings are the ultimate relationship test– planning an event that tests financial values, incorporates families, takes extra time and stress on top of the day to day things, and making decisions together is hard. If you have a shared vision of what’s important, it goes a long way. 

4. What are the top three communication habits that build intimacy and trust?

Tell your partner about the important stuff first before you tell other people. Talk about your day to day life so that you feel in the know of what’s happening. Make positive statements often– gratitude, affection, and admiration go a long way in making us feel glad to be in our relationship and attuned to ,and make it easier to buffer constructive criticisms as well.  

5. If you could rewrite the traditional vows for today’s couples, what would they include?

Loving and accepting your partner for who they are– not who you hope they can become. Every human has faults, and we sign up for them when we get married. 

Also it sounds so basic, but promising to treat each other with care and compassion, even when we disagree, knowing that the security of the relationship is more important than winning a fight. 

Get in touch with Amy at Springs Therapy here.